monkeys and marbles

Archive for the ‘Haiku Friday’ Category

note: i wrote this before i know there was theme for Haiku Friday this week. please forgive me, but i needed to vent about being a woman. i will be sure to follow the theme next time.

i was so lucky
no pms to speak of
never had a cramp

been told no mood swings
no bloating or discomfort
but it wouldn’t last

come back to bite me
with these head-splitting migraines
payback, you’re a BITCH!

is was so lucky, and i took it for granted. and oh, am i paying for it now!

i went through high school never having been bothered by my period…other than the inconvenience of the bulky pads available in the late 80’s. mind you, every once in a while i would feel a little nauseated on the first day, but that’s it. and this continued through my 20s and early 30s. okay…i can here you yelling nasty names at me….just get it out of your system now so i can proceed with my pity party story.

i’ve been told that i don’t have mood swings during that time of the month. hubby even asked me after we’d been living together for about a year if i would plot my cycles on the calendar so he would know when i was having it because he couldn’t tell…just so he would know when it was appropriate to try and put the moves on me.

when i was late in my pregnancy with Zander, i asked my doctor what contractions would feel like when they started. she told me they would feel like period cramps. i told her i’d never had any. by the look on her face, she thought i was lying. seriously people…never. one. cramp.

well, i’m now paying for all those carefree years. about 7 months ago i started getting migraines with my cycle. they start either the day before or on the first day of my period. they last anywhere from 2-4 days. and they are excruciating. i’m talking jam-something-sharp-through-my-eye-socket-and-into-my-brain-and-then-wiggle-it-around in-there kind of pain.

during these migraines, i can hardly take care of the boys, let alone myself. i never knew how noisy they were until each little sound felt like a cleaver cutting into my skull. or how much light the curtains in the living room still let through when they’re closed. or how many toys we have that make all types of seizure inducing noise. or how fucking bright this laptop monitor is!

this whole thing has forced me to not make plans anywhere near my expected monthly. unfortunately, my crystal ball isn’t always clear.

as some of you know, i am a big time paper-crafter and card-maker, and am a Stampin’ Up! demonstrator to make a little cash to support my hobby. in recent months, i have lost my passion. i’m trying to get it back, because when i’m doing it i am so happy. damn ppd.

anyhoo, a few months ago i signed up to attend a convention in Ottawa for Canadian demonstrators. i’ve been so excited about it…until last week when i realized it landed at the start of my cycle. the convention is tomorrow. sure enough, my period started yesterday…and so did my migraine. i’ve been trying to complete some cards for a swap i’m going to be participating in tomorrow, while my head is threatening to split in half and my eyeballs feel like they are liquifying.

this is the second day of my migraine, and i’m praying that i will wake up tomorrow and it will be gone. but i’m not holding out too much hope.

oh payback…you are a cold-hearted bitch!

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the magic of corn
such a strange phenomenon
such a small veggie

no matter how much
we chew chew chew when we eat
it reappears whole

sorry if that’s tmi, but seriously…whaddup with that???

the other day we had corn with our dinner. the next morning i was changing Logan’s diaper on the floor in the living room. as is more often than not, his diaper was loaded with danger full of poop. and there it was…the tell-tale sign of the previous night’s dinner…completely reassembled as if never ingested.

that’s when Zander walked up and asked if Logan had pooped. (yes…he wants to see his brother’s poop all the time, as well has his own…that’s a weird post for another day!) he stood there staring at it as if Logan had been hiding a green, three-headed alien in his diaper.

then he raised his head, his big, blue eyes wide with wonder, and asked “mommy…why does Logan have corn in his diaper?”.

what do you say? how do you explain to a three year old that, for some unknown reason, corn has the magical ability to make it past your chompers and through your entire digestive system with barely a scratch, and then mystically reassemble itself upon its exit? how?

i told him “when we eat food, it goes down to our tummy, and then comes out as poop. so there’s corn in Logan’s diaper because we ate it for dinner last night, and he pooped it out.”. he looked at me like i had finally lost it. kid…i lost it a long time ago…

so i thought about it…how do i explain this to him in terms that he will understand. EUREKA! Zander is addicted to a Canadian show called Mighty Machines. it’s a cute show with footage of trucks, boats, what-have-you that have annoying-as-hell cute little voices explaining what they do. his current favourite is the one about recycling with the crusher, the compactor, etc.

i put on my best straight face and said “well, when you eat food, it goes down your throat like a conveyor belt to your tummy. your tummy is like a compactor and smooshes all the food up, and then it comes out as poop.” (note that i decided to skip the whole intestinal tract/bowl thing…i mean, he’s three!)

his face brightened as he said “oh..ya!”.

so now if you ask him where poop comes from, he will happily tell you a colourful story full of machinery and gadgets.

unfortunately, he never got his answer as to why whole corn was in Logan’s diaper. as soon as i learn the secret behind the magic of corn, i’ll let him know.

Haiku Friday

hey, have you seen cate?
she hasn’t blogged in ages
where the hell’d she go?

she used to be here
it’s like she done dropped off the
face of the planet!

i’m here. and i’m sorry i left the blogosphere without a word to anyone. but i’ve been in my own personal packing/unpacking/moving hell. seriously…whose idea was it to move anyway? oh ya…it was mine.

anyhoo….

i’m in my new house. it’s small, but beautiful. the layout makes daily life with the boys much easier. still settling in, but we’re enjoying it.

moving was tougher than i thought it would be. lots of thoughts and emotions cropped up that i kinda half-expected didn’t expect, and which took their toll on me…leading to my disappearance. and the logistics of the move itself were mind-boggling. but that’s another super-long post.

i’d like to keep my re-entry light-hearted, so i’ll refrain from sharing the depressing details for a few days. for now, i’m just glad to be back.

i missed you all….did you miss me? (lookin’ for some love here…hint hint! 😉 )

packing up the house
an endless sea of cardboard
will it ever end?

been packing for weeks
never be able to tell
haven’t made a dent

surpised at what’s found
where did all this crap come from?
do we need it all?

less than a month now
will packing be done in time?
really not so sure

wow…this packing thing is crazy! we’ll pack 10 huge boxes of crap treasured items…and it still doesn’t look any different. like we haven’t packed anything!

my rec room in the basement is filling up with boxes of everything and bags of clothes, yet the top two floors look like we haven’t touched them. i feel like it will never be done.

we are currently scheduled to move on February 23rd. that’s 29 days from now. 4 weeks from tomorrow. we have 4 weekends until the move weekend.

oh…we’re so screwed.

Haiku Friday

been all doom and gloom
my writing so serious
it’s just not like me

my loyal readers
i’m sure you’ve been wondering
where’d the funny go?

this blog has been so serious….nothing but serious. all kinds of downer posts. granted, sometimes life is not so funny. especially here in the monkey house. and it is cathartic to write down everything that’s been happening, and everything i’ve been feeling. but come on! funny things happen here all the time…i’ve got two toddler boys! how could there not be funny things happening?

it’s like when the funny stuff is going on, i don’t have time or the chance to write about it. and then some doom-‘n-gloom comes along, and that’s what i end up posting.

and i’m funny dammit! right? it’s not just me that thinks i’m funny, is it? i can be funny! what happened to all the funny posts i used to write? huh?

never fear, my blogland friends. i will be searching for my funny-bone high and low this weekend. and by gosh and by golly i’m gonna post something funny next week.

what…you don’t think i’ll do it? oh, just you watch me!

this post brought to you by late-night caffeine and lack of sleep

Haiku Friday

there’s one thing i know
this comes from experience
when it rains it pours

we have no money
the move has drained our accounts
so over budget

of course this would be
perfect time for rain to pour
it’s raining shit here

seriously. the shit is pouring down, and i’m knee-high in it. there’s a law that goes along with Murphey’s. it’s called Cate’s Law. Cate’s Law deems that if something bad/wrong can happen, it will. but this bad will wait to happen until the worst possible time, and bring some of it’s bad friends along for the ride.

hubby was driving to his sister’s house on Tuesday night…which is 40 minutes across town….which is why we are moving to that end of the city. anyway, the car started acting funny on the way there, and completely died as he pulled into their driveway. like died. dead. gone. deader than a kipper on a cracker. no salvation.

so, his plans were ruined (he was going to go to his sister’s store Supperworks and prepare some meals…awesome place!), and the rest of his night was controlled by CAA (Canadian Auto Association), and the whims of the dude that they sent to help him. Three hours later, he was still waiting for mr. dude. to make a long story short, mr. dude finally got there, boosted the car, left, the car died again and hubby couldn’t start it, called mr. dude back, mr. dude said he’d be right back, mr. dude took his sweet-ass time getting there…like 40 minutes, even though he’d just left. when mr. dude finally got back, the car could not be revived. so while mr. dude towed the car to the Canadian Tire near our place, my wonderful sister-in-law drove hubby home….at 1am.

hubby not happy.

so on Wednesday, we were without a car. hubby worked from home, while i had to cancel a doctor’s appointment for that morning. an appointment that i’d already had to cancel in December because of a snow storm. an appointment that i’ve been waiting for. an appointment that was supposed to be all about how i’m doing on my latest anti-depressants, if they are working, how my ppd is, and also to check up on some blood work to find out if my thyroid has gone cuckoo and flown the coop. ya, now i have to wait again…until the middle of February. if i have cancel that one too, i’m going to lose it…my doc goes on maternity leave starting the end of February.

cate not happy.

on Wednesday afternoon, we get a call from Canadian Tire. it’s the alternator. it’s dead. it needs to be replace. for the very reasonable, low low price of $800.

cate and hubby not happy.

later on Wednesday afternoon, hubby went over to the living room window to see what Zander was looking at. hubby mumbles one of his favourite profanities. i go over. the windstorm that had been threatening to rip the windows out of the house had knocked down part of the fence between us and our neighbours. the fence was lying in our backyard. flat on the ground. this is the fence that we sold along with the house in July. which means we need to put even more cash into this damn house, even though it won’t be ours in 6 weeks.

cate and hubby really not happy.

did i mention the splitting migraine that started in my right eye on Wednesday night, and by yesterday morning was a big ball of head pain? hmmm…i wonder what brought that on.

Haiku Friday

i am so tired
got back into town today
from my parents’ house

Christmas was busy
oh so much fun had by all
but i am tired

ate so much good food
i’m sure i gained 20 pounds
too good to say no

saw the family
so many get-togethers
i’m now comatose

tons and tons of gifts
we could open a daycare
with the boys’ new toys

though i’d love to stay
did i mention i’m tired?
i’m glad to be home!

i hope all of you
had a safe and wonderful
holiday season!