monkeys and marbles


Posted on: November 17, 2007

we met with Zander’s psychologist yesterday, which we do every two weeks.

i actually enjoy these visits. there is no judgment, only reassurance and advice.  she has a very calming way about her…such a warm smile and kind eyes.  we told her how he’s starting to eat less and less again. she reassured us that he was still doing well, but that we had to find a new approach. we discussed Zander’s eating in a relaxed way.  all the while Zander was playing and showing her things and Logan was systematically destroying everything in the room.

so, our new plan of attack….we are to stop trying him on new foods and more solid foods, and just go with foods he likes. jarred baby food is fine, since he will eat most of it with minimal objection, but we are to start mixing in some cream (like whipping cream) so as to try and make him gain some weight. we can spoon feed him if that’s what he wants, since she knows he can feed himself…he’s just using it as a comfort thing right now, and that’s okay.

the goal right now is to get him to eat more, to focus on nutrient, and to make meal time relaxing and fun for him. no stress. if he wants pureed peas and corn for dinner, that’s fine. but there’s a little trick we are to use. he will eat tiny bits of chicken, pasta, etc. we know this because we’ve seen him. so we’re supposed to say “okay, you can have your pureed peas after you take two small bites of chicken”. we’ve done this, and it actually works sometimes.

i’m hoping this will be less stressful than trying to get him to eat whole solid dinners. Logan will eat hearty beef stew along with us, but Zander will either refuse it, or if we try to get him to eat it, the gagging and puking will start again. so we’re back to making between 2 and 3 different meals 3 times a day. but it’s a lot easier to get him to eat purees and toast and cheese, without the pressure to get him eating what we’re eating.

so this is good. one thing at a time. get him to eat more. i can handle that. once the quantity is where we want it, we can start introducing new foods again. he will by the hopefully recognize his hunger, and how much he needs to eat to satisfy it.

we are still at the far end of the tunnel, but i’m beginning to see a faint glimmer of light at the other end.


11 Responses to "Psychologistics"

So glad you can see that glimmer of light. This new approach makes a lot of sense. Praying for you guys!

Awesome! Baby steps, so to speak. Hang in there. This will eventually work itself out. 🙂 You are doing a fabulous job!

That’s great! Kaylee has a pretty strict eating schedule and that means she has to eat whether she likes it or not so sometimes we just do what’s necessary and heck who cares in the long run.

one day — or one bite — at a time.

glad you got some affirmation after the rough week you had.

You’re doing great, Ma! Keep it up and everything will work out.. ❤

Cate, I’m hoping that faint light gets brighter. And it well. Each and every single day.

It sounds like you’ve gotten some encouragement. It sounded like you needed that again. I hope this works well.

It’s all about those baby steps…if only I could see that myself.

It’s good to have a plan…Yours sounds like it’s a huge step in the right direction…Good luck!

Sounds like a good plan. I hope it works.

I’m glad that session was so great! I think every counselor should approach with the no judgment attitude. Yay!

One of the mind games we’ve played with Payton when it comes to things he just flat out refuses to do is sorta like you’re going.

We didn’t make a deal out of him NOT doing it at all. Tried to remove all obvious reinforcement (neg. & pos) But what we did was do it with Parker and sorta threw ourselves into enjoying it with Parker…all without judgment towards Payton for not doing it.

Sometimes it would work. Whatever hang up Payton had, seeing us doing it and being ok doing it and having FUN doing it made him change his mind. Granted, sometimes it took many, many, many times before he’d relax about it. And sometimes it never made him come over to our side, so to speak. But it was worth the times it did work.

good luck! I hope your new idea works!

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November 2007
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