i had a rare chance to have a nice, quiet, relaxing bath last night…well…as relaxing as it can be for a 5 foot 10 inch tall woman taking a bath in a tub built for no one taller than 5 feet.
anyway, after my bath i noticed that i had a couple of toe nails that needed clipping.
am i really going to tell this story?
so i grabbed the honkin’ industrial sized toe nail clippers, perched my foot up on the toilet seat and proceeded to clip. i don’t usually clip my toe nails over the toilet…but for some reason it seemed like a good idea last night.
i can’t believe i’m actually telling this story!
so i was clipping away, when i lost my grip on the clippers. splash! they fell right to the very bottom of the toilet bowl!
oh, this is so embarrassing!
the unfortunate part was that i had peed in the toilet before getting the bright idea to clip my toe nails over said toilet…and i hadn’t flushed. why waste the water when i was going to want to flush my toe nail clippings after, right?
did i actually just write that? oh. my. God.
i just stood there and stared down into the toilet bowl. how the hell am i going to get them out? i’m not sticking my hand down there!
i sheepishly called hubby into the bathroom and showed him what had happened. he just looked at me with a grin on his face, shook his head and laughed. ya…this kind of thing happens to me all the time. i have a way of turning an ordinary task into a big event.
so hubby goes downstairs to find something to help with the extrication of the clippers while i went over the whole thing in my head….why would i clip my toe nails over the toilet when i had never done that before????
when hubby came back into the bathroom, he was carrying a pair of disposable chopsticks that had come with our last Chinese take-out meal. with a little ingenuity and some fancy chopstick acrobatics, he expertly pulled the clippers out of the toilet.
phfffft…..i’m such a tool.
anyone know how to properly sterilize toe nail clippers after they’ve been in a toilet bowl? ’cause i don’t think they’ll ever been clean enough for me!









When Bubba was 2 he had a Ninja Turtle Villain with a little spring loaded weapon. I had used the toilet and turned to flush when I came charging through the door and shot me with this thing. It went for the toilet as the toilet was flushing and…yep you guessed it…Momma’s instincts kicked in and I tried to catch it. The suction from the flush pulled my hand down into the toilet and I was stuck. Hubby monster was out of town and I was STUCK IN THE TOILET with only a 2 and 4 year old for help!!!!!
I had almost gotten to the point of panic and sent Lullibell to get the phone so I could call for help but the image of explaining to a fireman how I got stuck was just too much so gave it one final effort and got loose!
By: wineymomma on December 20, 2007
at 1:26 pm
Funny story! I love wineymomma’s story too. These things just make us real. And honestly, I’d probably just throw those clippers out. Too gross for me.
By: Mommy Daisy on December 20, 2007
at 2:15 pm
That’s so something I would do! Too funny!!
They’re not that expensive – just toss them and buy new ones!
Or you can boil them.
By: AndreAnna on December 20, 2007
at 2:22 pm
oh, the laughing. the guffawing. stop stop. it hurts!
you guys are making me spit diet coke everywhere!!!!
cate, at least it was nail clippers and not your cell phone!!!!
By: janet on December 20, 2007
at 2:24 pm
And yet, you wiped your boys butts without a second thought.
I’m kinda surprised your hubby just didn’t reach in and grab them.
It’s only pee.
I’m jealous that you can bend over the toilet and see your toes!
By: GoingLikeSixty on December 20, 2007
at 4:13 pm
So funny. I’ve done similar things, except not with clippers. Think: barrette.
By: Jennifer on December 20, 2007
at 5:19 pm
I cannot believe you told that story!! But you got me to laugh!!
By: Smiling Mom on December 20, 2007
at 5:37 pm
I’m so glad you DID tell the story, because you made me laugh!!
I never envisioned you as being 5′10″, wow!
I would say let ‘em soak in rubbing alcohol for awhile. Or you can get that stuff that hairdressers use for their combs and stuff — barbicide or something like that??
You are too funny, girl. Keep it coming!
By: VDog on December 20, 2007
at 5:57 pm
Something similar just happened to me at a holiday party! I was helping Middle go to the bathroom, and he dropped a little action figure he was playing with in the potty–right when he was peeing. And then freaked out b/c he wanted it back–RIGHT NOW. So what’s a mom to do? I simply rolled up my sleeve and went for it.
And then washed my hands for the next 5 minutes.
Yuck.
By: Sarah at In the Trenches on December 21, 2007
at 1:42 pm
Bath tubs aren’t even made for 5′2″ people!
By: Mrs. Mustard on December 21, 2007
at 2:11 pm
Hey at least it was pee and not something much worse. Pee is sterile so I wouldn’t worry too much about that part. The bowl as a whole, hmm, just buy new clippers.
And you are FIVE TEN?! I never pictured that either. I wish I had your height.
By: Natalie on December 21, 2007
at 2:29 pm
Stir fry them?
By: BusyDad on December 28, 2007
at 6:49 pm